Why Did That Happen?

A Goofy Movie. No question why this happened because it’s awesome. 

(Source: femburton)

Here’s a lesson little girls, if you turn out to be a powerful rich woman, you MUST be evil. Or at least, that’s what I learned from watching 101 Dalmatians. Let me summarize. Cruella is a successful fashion mogul (with manners, I might add. Why didn’t Alonzo ask Anita if she wanted something to drink?) who employs Anita, a mousey lady who would quit her job at her husband’s first whim. So who could possibly be the villain of this piece? The successful take-charge boss lady? Or the stupid baby machine?

If you ask me, ain’t nothin’ wrong with Cruella other than her questionable ethics on the treatment and use of animals. In which case, there are a LOT of villains out there. Sorry kids. 

Remember Christmas from a few weeks back? I bet ya do. I do too. I watched a LOT of Home Alone. And I recalled a great time in mine and my brother’s lives when we LOVED Home Alone. We loved it so much that my brother had a t-shirt of Kevin’s face. He also had a poster that illustrated all of the booby traps Kevin masterminded in the McCallister house. As a result, my brother and I thought we should set up our own booby traps, which resulted in my dad losing his shit over our solid-frozen death-trap sidewalk that we rigged up. 

So let’s review: a boy who is accidentally home alone has a hilarious misadventure! OR boy who is accidentally home alone makes the worst decisions EVER. Why doesn’t Kevin call the cops? I don’t know. At all. Ever. That is never explained. Let’s face it, Kevin is HILARIOUS. He has a biting wit. But what kid with a biting wit doesn’t know how to call the cops? He’s afraid of a knock at the door, but letting thieves in the house is a-ok as long as a million pranks are set to go off at precisely no mac and cheese time. That’s the worst. He makes that mac and cheese dinner and doesn’t get to eat it! All is redeemed though when Kevin learns that family is the most important thing ever. Except he didn’t learn that because it happens all over again in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

If you’re like me and LOVED Beetlejuice as a child then you probably turned out alright as an adult. There’s no question that Beetlejuice is a piece of cinematic glory for the ages, and yet it is one of the most terrifying of all Tim Burton’s films. What makes it so appealing to kids? Dunno. Most kids probably don’t even know what possession is, which makes this just an awesome dance scene to Harry Belafonte. Kids love that shit.

The only thing that ever scared me about Beetlejuice was, and still is, Delia’s scultptures. Something about ’90s Goth Art makes me feel really gross inside.